Thursday 1 December 2005

The Spitting Image of...


In an extremely funny episode of Spitting Image, a television producer presents his latest cool idea for the BBC to Janet Street Porter (former exec there, left). He has a platter such as you might see at a banquet, and after much hyped talk takes the lid off, to the disgust of the panel, who are hilariously wretching and covering their mouths in panic. 'Oh my god, it's a steaming pile of ... '; you get the idea.

My last official meeting with the superV went a little like that (though he certainly doesn't look anything like Janet Street Porter). Of course I could only agree with him. Well, after a cruel birthing process another piece of work has been sent to him and I felt a little like including a platter with a lid. In a fit of hypocondria I went to the doctor today thinking my viral flu was actually a kidney infection. While it's not in my head, it's not in my kidneys either. So I just need to sleep it off and rest.

Needless to say the platter was returned, its contents having been competently poked with a stick, worthy of a medieval physik. I now need to return to that platter and do something with it. Next time he'll just put it in a jar of formaldehyde and keep it on his shelf as an example of a rare and grotesquely disgusting creature, one that looks kind of familiar if you squint at it, but then it's gone; nah, it's just weird.

There's always a career at the BBC....

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